Simple things you can do to be a more thoughtful friend or partner

Being a connected person to the important people in your life is actually a lot easier than people imagine. There are simple habits and tricks you can adopt that will make you more thoughtful and more connected to the people you care about. These things don't cost you anything and take very little time. I'm going to share some examples of things that I try to do with my own circle of friends, family, and partner. They've helped me feel more connected to them, and I think they've helped people on the receiving end feel like I am thinking of them and that I care about them—which is true.

1) Keep track of birthdays

I put people's birthdays in my contacts app with reminders on my phone. I used to put them on my calendar until that feature was added to the contacts app. It really doesn't take very long to do this as you learn about somebody's birthday. You simply add it to the contact info for that person. Or if you're on Facebook and happen to see it's somebody's birthday, add it to your contacts.

Why not just rely on Facebook for this? Because we don't go on Facebook everyday. If someone you care about has a birthday on a day when you're very busy and don't check Facebook, you'll miss it.

Why are birthdays so important? Because they make people feel special. Sending somebody a simple text in the morning saying "Happy Birthday!"—maybe with a funny GIF or something—makes them feel special to you and makes them want to spend more time with you. I know I'm super grateful when my friends send me birthday messages. It's something that doesn't cost anything, doesn't take much time, but has a big impact.

2) Share relevant information

When I'm spending time with a friend or loved one, I try to learn about what they're working on and what's important to them right now. If they have a project, an aspiration, or something they would like to get back to, I make a mental note. If I run across something related to those pursuits, I send them the information. I've noticed some of my friends have been doing that for me also, so this isn't a rocket science phenomenon. It's something very simple and thoughtful.

For example, I constantly get article links from my friends and family about topics I'm interested in, like helping people make friends and find love. I recently learned that a friend of mine is artistic and used to participate in acting community projects. He doesn't do that anymore but misses it. So when I was at an event where I learned about somebody wanting to pull together actors for a play, I sent him the information.

I have another friend who wants to pick up writing again. When I ran across a writing coach, I sent her the info. Will that mean my friends are going to suddenly start acting and writing just because I sent them the info? I don't know. That's not the point. The point is I'm thinking about them and sending them helpful, useful things they can use.

3) Plan activities that match their preferences

When I think about my friends and how they prefer to interact, I try to make plans with them that match their preferences. Personally, I'm more of a one-on-one friend person, even though I do enjoy gatherings of bigger groups sometimes. I don't feel like I get to connect with people as well in large groups as I do one-on-one.

So with my closer friends, I try to set up time where we spend time together, just the two of us. Some friends prefer to try new things like coffee shops. Others prefer to do activities together, and some prefer to host things or hang out at their house or my house. I try to think about these preferences before I propose a plan, and try to make it happen in a way that suits how people thrive in relationships.

4) Let them know you're thinking of them

This one is the easiest of all. When you think about a friend, send them a message or call them. Tell them you're thinking about them and ask how they're doing. Or if you know they're going through something specific, ask them how that's going. It means a lot.

These small habits create ongoing connections that strengthen relationships over time, often with minimal effort but maximum impact.