The secret to 39 Years of Marriage (episode transcript)

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00:14

OK, welcome to the Connectedness podcast where we explore what it is, what it truly means to feel connected to ourselves, to others, and to the deeper currents of life.

00:25

Today's guest is someone I've been wanting to have on the show it I actually just met Fabi.

00:31

But I've been wanting to have somebody like her on the show for a while.

00:37

And Fabi Preslar has been married for 39 years.

00:41

And not only that, she and her husband worked together full time, which means they don't just share a home, they share a mission, a business.

00:51

Our Daily life.

00:53

She's the author of Wilted and Worthy essays of Holding On, Letting Go, and Living Fully, a deeply reflective collection on exploring the seasons of becoming, unraveling, healing, and grace.

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I've always been curious about couples who don't.

01:08

They don't just stay married, but they stay connected.

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I've always wondered what is their secret, what changes over the decades and how do you grow without growing apart?

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Today, we're going to dive into all of this.

01:24

Faby, welcome to the podcast.

01:26

It's great to be here.

01:28

Thank you so much.

01:30

Thank you.

01:30

So, so Faby.

01:32

Let's take us.

01:33

Back 39 years?

01:34

No.

01:35

Why?

01:36

Who were you and when?

01:38

When did you get married?

01:42

Who was I?

01:44

Well, I was 21 years old.

01:46

I was trying to step into a career and I had just been hired by Mcclatchy at The Charlotte Observer and I did not want a relationship.

01:58

I was ready to start my career.

02:01

Unfortunately, the universe and whatever had.

02:04

A difference in opinion at the time I met my husband on my job interview.

02:09

Wow.

02:10

Yeah, He was working at The Charlotte Observer and I had just been hired there.

02:15

We were touring and they brought me to his department, which we would be working with, and we weren't working in the.

02:24

Department and when our eyes met it was like lightning bolts from our feet to the top of my head and I knew that I needed to get away from this person because he was going to change my life and he had a similar experience and he turned around and told his boss that was still that was working with.

02:44

And I'm at the time and said that that's the gap.

02:49

I'm gonna marry.

02:50

So.

02:51

So anyway, I'm a few months later.

02:54

We were indeed married a few months later.

02:58

Yeah.

02:58

Six months, actually.

02:59

Yeah.

03:00

Wow.

03:00

Wow.

03:01

That's amazing.

03:02

And then it's just for me.

03:04

Such that, so it's such a beautiful story to see you, you guys knew immediately you met at in a work context, but that didn't stop you guys from developing this beautiful relationship.

03:19

Like they were.

03:20

When people ask you the secret to a long marriage or a long successful marriage, what what's the first thing that comes to your mind?

03:32

Respect and daily laughter.

03:34

Good.

03:34

So I mean, you got to like each other, right?

03:38

You know, love is is a great, beautiful part of that, but you also have to like each other and, you know, being friends, liking each other, respecting each other, having the hard conversations.

03:53

Ohh, my gosh, there's so many hard conversations over the years and just finding something to laugh at every day together.

04:01

Yeah.

04:01

Does he tell you jokes or like, what are you guys laughing at?

04:06

No, we just do stupid stuff.

04:08

You know?

04:09

He's not like a comedian, but the laughter comes from.

04:13

Seeing the absurd in the ordinary, just being able to have fun with each other, poking fun at each other, you know, if somebody steps out of line or does something just crazy.

04:25

So it's just, it's just general humor.

04:27

It's not like, you know, written jokes or anything like that.

04:31

Because I don't think either one of us.

04:34

And remember a joke.

04:35

It's just genuine laughter.

04:37

That's that's so sweet.

04:39

I sometimes like, my husband makes me laugh and sometimes he doesn't because we have.

04:45

Yeah.

04:45

Sometimes they make you scream.

04:47

Yeah.

04:49

Sense of humor is I think we have different sets of humor, but and I, I joke, I think he thinks he's funny, you know what I mean?

05:00

And, and I and I always think I'm hilarious.

05:03

So, you know, we, we're both so, So what, what would you think is a big misconception?

05:09

That people might have about long lasting marriages.

05:12

Ohh.

05:12

That you, you meet each other, you fall in love and it's, you know, clear sailing from there.

05:19

It's not, it's a lot of work, it's a lot of personal growth.

05:23

It's a lot of growing up together.

05:26

It's a lot of facing some really hard times and challenges.

05:29

Together and being able to talk about it to, you know, share your actual feelings and justice kind of work through them.

05:38

But it's a it's a constant ongoing growth process.

05:41

OK.

05:42

And and you mentioned there, there were hard times like were there not not that we want to get into that.

05:50

Pretty greedy of the dark times, but we know that every relationship has dark times.

05:55

But was there a time where you felt like it might just be easier to walk away or No, not really.

06:02

But we've had, you know, we've had really hard times.

06:06

Like once it was his his mother was in the hospital and.

06:10

In the last days and it happened to be our anniversary, you know, so we just in the, you know, between the tiers, we found ways of laughing and promised each other we would probably do something more exciting next year.

06:22

You know, it's just just being silly and cheered with a bag of chips or something that was in the concessions, you know, So it's just making.

06:31

Making the most out of every moment and knowing that some of those hard moments are made better just by the two of you being together and being able to lift and support each other.

06:44

Ohh, that's so beautiful.

06:45

And, and yeah, there there have been a lot of hard times.

06:50

So deaf parent.

06:51

Their parents dying.

06:55

Serious illnesses, you know, between us and just different things.

06:59

Yeah.

06:59

Do you feel, and this is, do you feel like these harder times have actually brought you guys closer together?

07:07

Yeah, because you open up your heart, you open up your soul and you have to be very vulnerable during those times.

07:15

And when someone respects that or someone is in the in kind of the same boat, you're going through that same experience and can talk about it and and share it and sometimes there's not really a conversation.

07:29

About it, there's an understanding and just, you know, just the touch on your back, on your shoulder, just, you know, to let each other know that, yeah, it's hard, but you know, I'm right here with you, so whatever you need.

07:42

Yeah, like he just hearing you talk about it is making me feel like, yeah, this, this is really where the glue of the marriage comes to play is they they are not at least.

07:54

And who am I?

07:56

Who am I to talk about marriage or being an expert on marriage, but like, at least.

08:02

With my husband, I feel like we're family to each other and we support each other through the hard times.

08:11

Umm, yeah.

08:12

And I think there's a level of trust in there too, where it's like I trust that I'm safe in being vulnerable.

08:22

With him, yes.

08:23

Do you feel that way too?

08:25

With absolutely.

08:25

And just being able to, you know, to share those times but also celebrate the good times together.

08:31

So it can't just be all that, you know, your partner is just great at dealing with the hard times, you know, but they are to celebrate each other and each other's wins.

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And successes and, um, you know, when one wins, it's like the both of us win.

08:47

Or it's really one of us celebrating the other and not trying to have our moment while it's his moment.

08:54

You know, it's, it's, there's a lot of give and take, give and take.

08:59

Which, yeah, when you were talking about celebration.

09:03

The how?

09:03

How does this play into your professional life because it sounds like you guys worked together and have been working together for a really long time.

09:13

How did you decide to work together?

09:16

Well, it was a process.

09:18

So I had started Spark Publications, Homebase and he was.

09:22

Doing great work at his corporate career and I was starting to grow the firm and I thought, wow, it was sure would be great if we worked together and he was like, no.

09:35

And, um, he needed to continue shining in his corporate job.

09:40

And so it was 10 years later that things started changing at his at his job.

09:46

And he and I just really, really set all our cards on the table.

09:51

And you know, what would be hard?

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What would be harder, what would be even harder?

09:57

As far as entrepreneurship and you know, what are things that we can work together on?

10:03

And we just went through a whole onboarding process as well.

10:07

So, you know, we had a contract and we had job descriptions like what he's going to be responsible for and what I'm going to be responsible for.

10:17

Because he took my job.

10:19

Wow.

10:19

OK, so I was the creative director and he came on board as the creative director.

10:24

So, you know, we really had to create those boundaries.

10:28

That actually was going to be my next question, but you already answered it.

10:32

It was about boundaries and how like, how did you protect your marriage from?

10:37

The business I guess part of the boundary did we talked about, but the marriage part maybe well, it's all all together and a little bit but yeah, so boundaries are boundaries.

10:48

So we have our work boundaries and it was harder for me than it was for him to have those work boundaries because as an entrepreneur I'm.

10:57

Always having brilliant thoughts and I could talk about business like anytime, but that's not the case for him.

11:05

He really needs that separation.

11:07

And so if we are home and I have a question about something, you know, brilliant that just popped into my head or want to share something.

11:17

Then I give him the courtesy of asking, is this an OK time to ask a business question, you know, or I've got an idea is it's OK time to talk about it.

11:27

And he has said, no.

11:29

You know, there are times he's like, yeah, not right now.

11:32

I'm really wanting to, you know, just stay decompressed or do something.

11:36

And then I'm like, God.

11:38

So then like, do you write it down for later and then bring up the brilliant idea the next?

11:43

Ohh, who knows?

11:44

Yeah, there's another one I'll pop in.

11:49

But no, we'll, we'll talk about it or he'll let me know, or we'll say, you know, let's just talk about this tomorrow morning or something like that.

11:58

So yeah, it's just different.

12:00

He doesn't say no too often because he knows that it's going to be in my head the whole time anyway, so.

12:09

But yeah, it is establishing those boundaries and those boundaries also came with the the job descriptions.

12:15

So there are things he has final say on and there are things that I have final say.

12:21

And that way there aren't business arguments because we know where each other's lane is and and who gets to make.

12:28

Final call.

12:29

Right.

12:29

And it's just the two of you or do you have employees?

12:33

No, no, we had, we have a full team.

12:36

And then to keep things nice and complicated, we also hired our daughter.

12:41

Ohh.

12:41

Great.

12:42

OK.

12:42

It's a family business.

12:43

Well, it became that.

12:45

Yes.

12:45

Yeah, that's awesome.

12:46

Well, Congrats that you were making it.

12:48

Work and do you ever like you just said there aren't that way.

12:54

There aren't any business arguments because the roles are defined.

12:59

Umm would you say that that you all but outside of business you guys have like personal, you know, fighting or arguments and.

13:09

We're we're deep, deep fighters, so we fight deep and fast, you know, so and we do because I'm hot tempered and he's just a really nice guy.

13:17

But you know, he's a volcano person.

13:20

So he lets it build up, build up.

13:22

And then, yeah.

13:23

So you know, there's a time where my head's hot and he's volcano goes and then we just say.

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What needs to be said, But that's been our rule from the very beginning.

13:34

Say what needs to be said, then let's deal with it.

13:38

And then, you know, an hour the next day, there's not that residual stuff.

13:42

So we get it out.

13:44

And sometimes it's insane and ugly just like anybody else.

13:48

But the fact is.

13:49

Is whatever the authentic feelings were at that time or what feelings I stepped on or squashed or, you know, hurt him or by doing something or saying something it, it gets discussed and you know, there's, there's not that retaliatory weirdness like you hear some things that destroy other couples.

14:09

Just like we lay it out there.

14:12

Yeah.

14:12

So we call it fighting quick and fast.

14:15

I mean fight fighting deep and fast.

14:17

Yeah, just get it out there, get it done and then move on.

14:23

So I mean, so I think that's kind of you just touched upon something that try I think trips up a lot of relationships, whether they're new relationships or even 20 year marriages.

14:38

Like is, is the how to handle conflict, right like.

14:44

And I don't know that most of us are born knowing how to do this properly.

14:49

And a lot of us have poor modeling from our parents when when it comes to handling conflict.

14:55

Yeah.

14:56

My parents didn't argue.

14:57

No.

14:57

OK.

14:58

And then then everything blew up and they divorced him.

15:01

So, you know, I just didn't want to do that.

15:04

I didn't want that kind of relationship and his parents didn't really argue either, but they're really, everything was less complex with them, you know, um.

15:17

Yeah.

15:17

So it's, it's important not to play games with each other's emotions.

15:23

It's important not to hide how you're feeling, but to be able to have time, respectful time for the two of you to really discuss it.

15:34

It's like, hey.

15:36

I know you were just joking, but man, that was hurtful.

15:39

Umm, it's like what?

15:41

It's like, yeah, that just, that just really cut to the core of me and it's just like, well, why would it do that?

15:47

I mean, yes, there would be times he'd say, well you should just get over that.

15:52

And I'm like, well, it's not that easy because it actually hurt my feelings this way.

15:57

And then it passed me off.

15:59

And then and, you know, then you talk about it.

16:03

And sometimes that does create an argument because one of us doesn't understand.

16:07

But we always know that the end goal is to respect.

16:11

We're not always agreeing, but to respect what the other person feels or is going through.

16:18

And.

16:19

Then make sure it gets back to we're OK and we get back to just truly loving each other and yeah, sometimes feelings stay hurt for a little bit, yeah, but then we just give each other space to let each other just process.

16:35

However.

16:37

And then, you know, just ended out with a hug.

16:41

It's like, OK, so it's been a couple hours, you know, I'm just going to say I apologize again and just give a big old bear hug, you know?

16:51

Ohh, that's so sweet.

16:53

And but I'm guessing maybe forgiveness comes easily when no, it's not.

16:57

Easy, but it's it's something that you need to do.

17:00

Yeah.

17:00

You know, it's a choice, right?

17:02

It's a choice, yeah.

17:03

And you know, do you want to be happy or do you want to be right?

17:08

And that comes in a lot.

17:10

It's like, ohh, no, I want to be both because, you know, I have a very intense personality and yes, I want to control.

17:17

Yes, I want to be right and yes I want to be happy too, but it doesn't work that way.

17:24

So sometimes you just have to realize we are not on the same page on this.

17:29

But I respect your viewpoint and it doesn't have to be my viewpoint.

17:33

And I just know that I love and respect this person.

17:38

And, you know, give each other space to be the individuals that we are.

17:43

That's beautiful.

17:44

That's beautiful.

17:45

So, So tell tell me a little bit about your book Wilted and Worthy.

17:49

And I'm guessing based on what you said earlier, you might have written multiple books.

17:54

Right.

17:55

This is my third.

17:56

Yeah.

17:57

OK.

17:57

Well, today, Worthy.

17:58

Is my third.

17:59

Yeah.

17:59

And I tell you what, I'm.

18:02

We have a little time.

18:03

I don't know how many questions you have, but I have an essay in here that I think would be helpful.

18:11

It's called fractured attachments.

18:12

OK, Yeah, let's go.

18:14

All right.

18:15

We build and build imagining.

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We're creating a network to sustain us.

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If you know us, grow with us and for us, we pour time, hope and heart into relationships we believe will last.

18:28

But then comes the cracks, the unraveling, the exfoliating of what we thought was permanent.

18:34

It hurts.

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It shakes our pride, our soul, our ego.

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We ask.

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Ourselves.

18:40

What were we building if it could fall apart so easily?

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The people we once considered foundational now feel like strangers, distant, indifferent, or even cold.

18:51

It's hard to let go when someone's blocks, when someone blocks the path, when they no longer wish to be.

19:00

In the circle that you thought was unbreakable.

19:03

And yet, when the detachment becomes complete, a clarity begins to settle in.

19:09

You see that the connection you were clinging to was already shifting, already fading.

19:16

Time gently and consistently begins to release you from those.

19:20

Fractured attachments and in their place, new energy, new people, and new tribe that honors your becoming.

19:27

Only now do you begin to see life as as it truly is.

19:33

A cycle.

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People, flowers, bees, they come and go as they must for themselves and for you.

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Letting go isn't failure.

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It's nature, it's movement.

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And it's your chance to continue without losing yourself.

19:49

And that was written after a series of relationships, friendships that seemed to just kind of evaporate.

19:57

And it's, it's, you know, it's painful.

20:01

Yeah, but then when you start realizing it's the cycle none of these warrants weren't meant for, like, you know, the way that you want to build your true married relationship because you don't, you don't try to just let it go, but you try to really work, work through it and to grow it.

20:19

This was beautiful and very.

20:21

Relevant to a lot of the stuff I talk about with relation with regards to friendships and yes, um, almost like a filtering process, if you will, and, and not, not filtering in a way to get everybody out of your life, but just selecting the people who are there to stay.

20:41

Versus the people who who are OK to let go of right.

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And and with the book, it's not you're, you're wilted and worthy.

20:52

It's about holding on, letting go, becoming living fully and worthiness even in wilting.

20:58

And I've got a few questions on the book.

21:02

But I'm also super curious about why, why did you choose to write this book?

21:09

And um, I definitely want to talk about the wilted and we're like wilting worthiness concept.

21:16

Umm, so I had gone through cancer treatments and recovery.

21:22

And during that time, you know, people would bring you flowers and they would start to wilt.

21:27

And naturally people just wanted to go ahead and throw them out.

21:32

But I started seeing a different beauty in the way some of the flowers would curl and their edges would just brown a little bit.

21:40

And it's like they just became.

21:43

A different type of flower.

21:44

It was just a beauty in a different way.

21:48

And then I was seeing that in nature in just a lot of different ways.

21:53

And so I started photographing it just with my iPhone.

21:57

And so the photos in the book are all these beautiful things that have evolved and transformed.

22:03

As they were wilting.

22:04

And so it's a new beauty.

22:06

And that came from going through and, you know, healing through that.

22:11

And then the book was written a few months after my father passed away.

22:16

So we had his diagnosis and then his death was just like 9 months.

22:21

And it was just.

22:23

A challenging time then and.

22:27

And I had relationships that were kind of fading and, and, you know, falling apart or just going away.

22:35

And so there was a lot of grief.

22:38

And then through meditation and some automatic writing, that's when these beautiful essayists started coming in as answers to questions that.

22:47

Had and all of them were handwritten out and these beautiful answers were coming through and they were very soothing and healing and brought great awareness to me.

22:59

And as I read a couple to my mom and a few other people, they were like, these are really, really.

23:09

Deeply introspective and healing.

23:11

And so to honor all of the ones that were written, I packaged them up just in an absolutely beautiful book.

23:18

And then I felt like all of that was given to me.

23:22

And so I didn't want to sell it for myself to monetize it that way.

23:27

So I sold it and.

23:30

All the proceeds, every penny has gone to Radiant Chaters Collective, which is a nonprofit that helps underserved and underrepresented entrepreneurs published their books.

23:41

Ohh, wow, that's I I never heard of that nonprofit, but that's awesome.

23:48

That's awesome is.

23:50

The the would you say your book is a collection of essays or is it like a memoir?

23:56

Or is it?

23:58

No, it's a collection of essays and photos.

24:01

Photos.

24:01

OK, yes, yes.

24:02

So it's like a coffee table gift book.

24:05

Ohh, how beautiful.

24:06

How beautiful is when you think about you.

24:10

You were just talking about the moments in your life and I'm really sorry for your loss and everything you guys went through with your health and like when you were feeling wilted, How did the concept of worthiness play into this?

24:26

Because the wilting is is is an evolution.

24:29

So even you see it in nature, you experience it yourself.

24:34

There are times where you're not full of youth and perkiness, but that wilting brings on and exposes a whole new level of maturity and worthiness.

24:46

So, you know, there you get to a certain age and, you know, relevancy and, um, you know, what's next?

24:54

I mean, all those things are part of it.

24:57

And to be able to have those essays that actually celebrate this whole transformation that all of us, if we're fortunate, we'll get to go through the.

25:07

Aging process and becoming something a little bit more elevated and evolved than what we were the year before, the months before so.

25:20

In the wilting does not mean the end.

25:24

It's an evolution to something even better and more evolved than what you were a prior.

25:33

So worthiness.

25:34

That's so beautiful.

25:35

OK, so talking about your long marriage and success and beautiful.

25:41

You know, example of of a couple making it work together.

25:45

Do you feel like both of you have changed dramatically like over time and and do you did you just like fall in love with the new versions of yourself or how do you see that evolution?

25:59

It is a constant evolution.

26:01

So we have we have re fallen in love with the people that we have become.

26:11

We have private renewal ceremonies around our our anniversaries.

26:16

You know, we had gone to a a.

26:22

Trip to the Bahamas and there was this really, really cute church that was, there was nobody else there and so we went and had our own next wedding there, just the two of us, you know, So we just do some fun things that honor the love and the relationship and it's a constant.

26:42

It's a constant renewal because as you grow and evolve as a person, the two of you are doing that on your own and we constantly are checking in and finding what works and what's going to evolve together.

26:57

Wow, that's so nice.

26:59

I you're giving me ideas for the future.

27:02

Good, you know, and honestly, go take long walks together there.

27:06

There's just nothing more therapeutic.

27:08

So that's a good idea.

27:10

That's a good idea.

27:12

But I'm my friend, my hubby and I, Frank, we're going to have our 12 year anniversary graduation.

27:20

So it's an accomplishment, you know?

27:22

Yeah, yes, yes it is.

27:24

Every year is and actually that 10 to 12 years, those are hard because think about like a 10 and a 12 year old how much that child grows and changes and your marriage is just going through the same thing.

27:38

So you do have to really compassionately see each other and.

27:42

Your own each other's gross and your own growth in the process.

27:47

And you know, it's like, well, try, you know, new hobbies, try new hobbies individually.

27:53

So we each have rich lives.

27:56

Apart so that we can, you know, come together.

27:59

Our hobbies are not the same.

28:02

He's got like this VR stuff.

28:04

I like to paint and you know, I mean, we just have different creative hobbies that we like and then you can have something else to talk about.

28:13

So yes, we work together, we play together.

28:16

Live together.

28:17

We have fun and vacations together, but in between that each each day or at least each week, we have our times that we do things that is just for us.

28:30

So you touched upon a lot of good things that I yeah, I completely agree, like having different hobbies, having full set full lives that are not all about each other.

28:40

So that when you do come, oops, when you do come together, you can you have something to talk about and you are interesting to each other and and more fulfilled.

28:50

In general, what, what, what would you say for long married couples that you know?

28:56

I'm sure maybe you have in your circle of friends people who have been married a long time, maybe got divorced or what do they stop doing that they really shouldn't?

29:10

Ohh, I don't know.

29:11

I'm really talking to each other openly about things that are going on.

29:15

And, you know, I mean, yeah, sometimes they chew too loud or they crack their knuckles and it makes you nut.

29:22

It's OK for you to say that is driving me crazy.

29:26

Yeah.

29:26

And then there's a decision that's made.

29:29

They don't care.

29:30

Where they continue to do whatever and then you have to be OK and mature or find a way to step out.

29:37

I mean, some people don't close closet doors that other people chew with their mouths open.

29:43

You know, there's just all kinds of insanely annoying things within a marriage that you just need to.

29:50

Readjust and my favorite thing with like the closing doors and not closing doors and stuff like that is that I have this little private thing that I say, you know, one day I'm going to really miss these doors being open.

30:04

Umm, you know, and it's, it's kind of readjusting.

30:07

It's like, does it really bother you or what?

30:10

That's really bothering you right now?

30:12

Ohh.

30:12

It's not that the cabinet door got left open, it's just the fact that he's not listening to me and paying attention.

30:20

So, you know, let those kind of weird things be a trigger for what maybe is really going on in the beginning of a good conversation.

30:28

But honesty, ohh, my gosh.

30:30

Honesty is huge honest.

30:31

That's really great advice.

30:33

Thank you.

30:34

So it reminding us when we're getting irritated that the our whatever we're getting triggered by is is probably just a surface level thing and there's something underneath, right?

30:45

Some kind of need.

30:46

Yeah, that maybe we are not feeling that it's being met.

30:50

Right now or something like that.

30:52

And then.

30:53

Beautiful.

30:53

Yeah.

30:53

Because when you eating chips, it's crunching too loud anyway.

30:56

So if he's doing it and it's just really annoying you, it's like, that's not what's really annoying you.

31:01

Although for me it is, because that noise drives me crazy.

31:04

But you know what I'm saying?

31:05

I know what you mean.

31:07

I know what you mean.

31:08

Yeah.

31:08

One day I'm going to miss my the my.

31:11

Husband being loud in the kitchen because he's very loud and like he doesn't know quiet.

31:17

So there you go.

31:19

So I know last question, if your husband were sitting right here, what would he say is the real reason as to why your marriage has lasted so long?

31:31

Think I'd say this is a very similar thing it's just respect and that we actually like each other and that we laugh together.

31:38

OK, we I didn't have that coming into the marriage.

31:42

I wasn't able to laugh at myself because that's not something that my family did his I thought was excessive.

31:48

But then it just, you know, we found our.

31:51

Happy medium to where we could just learn to laugh together about things, something each day, you know, whether we just cut up or or just, you know, go dude, you know, you haven't been out of the house all day your hair.

32:05

What is up with that?

32:06

You know, just being able to say silly things that, you know, help each other.

32:11

Out and not cut each other down, never cut each other down.

32:15

And never, ever disrespect your spouse in front of somebody else, right?

32:19

Yeah, yeah, that's some basic respect and you're in it together.

32:23

You're a team, right?

32:25

So it doesn't mean we don't disagree, but yes, we are a team.

32:29

We're an effective team.

32:31

Yes, yes, that's so beautiful.

32:33

OK, so Fabi, before I close the episode, are there other things you would like the audience to either follow you on or Yeah, anything you're releasing soon or anything you would like to?

32:46

Just, you know, connect with me on LinkedIn.

32:49

It's Faby Pressler and I'm on Facebook as well.

32:53

I can't seem to get the hang of Instagram.

32:56

So I'm there, but not OK.

32:59

No problem.

32:59

And you know, together we as a team, we custom publish really beautiful books.

33:05

That are specialty books and business books and coffee table books as well as national magazines.

33:11

So we're we're accustom publishing firm doing really great work to help you grow your businesses.

33:17

That's so cool.

33:18

Thank you so much.

33:20

And Phoebe, I'm going to close the episode and we only have two.

33:25

Minutes and 23, so we might get cut off, but I think I have enough time to just close it real quick.

33:33

What I love about this conversation is that it reframes longevity not as a perfection, but as an evolution.

33:40

And marriage isn't about staying in bloom forever, it's about learning how to honor each other.

33:45

In every season, blooming, pruning, and even wilting, Fabio's book Wilted and Worthy reminds us that even in our softest, most uncertain seasons, we are still becoming Fabie.

33:57

Thank you for sharing not just advice, but lived wisdom.

34:01

And to every one listening, if this episode resonated with you.

34:05

Shared with someone who you're building a life with.

34:09

Until next time, let's stay connected to yourself and to each other.

34:15

Beautifully said.