Ladies, don't abandon your girlfriends when you find a new beau

Ladies, it's easy to get swept up in the excitement of a new relationship, but remember to keep nurturing your friendships too. Both your romantic partnership and your girlfriends deserve a place in your life.

I've seen many friends unintentionally fall into a pattern where their new love becomes their sole focus. Suddenly, they disappear for months, only to resurface after a breakup, feeling broken and vulnerable. It's heartbreaking to see, and I believe we can do better.

Relationship expert Esther Perel makes an insightful point: it's unrealistic and unfair to expect one person to meet all our needs. This goes both ways - you shouldn't expect your partner to fulfill every role, and they shouldn't expect that from you either. It's too much responsibility for one person.

We have diverse needs - for friendship, support, and understanding. Sometimes, you need a confidant who isn't your romantic partner. It's crucial to remember this, especially during the honeymoon phase of a relationship.

Try to carve out time each week for your girlfriends, hobbies, or passions. Maybe it's coffee, happy hour, knitting, salsa dancing, movies, or language practice. Not every social activity needs to involve your partner. In fact, it can be healthy for both of you to have separate interests and friendships.

Couples who maintain their individuality often have healthier relationships with more trust. They're usually happier to reunite after time apart. On the other hand, making someone your entire world can be a sign of an unhealthy attachment style or codependency.

If you tend to lose yourself in relationships, consider setting gentle boundaries with yourself and your partner. You might say something like, "I love spending time with you, but it's also important for me to maintain my friendships and interests. It helps me be the best version of myself in our relationship."

Remember, a healthy relationship enhances your life without consuming it entirely. By maintaining your individuality, you're not just being true to yourself - you're also strengthening your relationship.