I just moved to a new city and I don't know anyone. How do I make new friends and build a community for myself?

A guide to making friends when you're new in town.

ADVICE COLUMNFRIENDSHIPS

Fernanda

11/25/20242 min read

vehicles near buildings at night time
vehicles near buildings at night time

Hey there! Moving to a new city can feel a bit daunting, especially when you’re starting fresh and hoping to meet new friends. I was in your situation twice: first when I moved to Chicago in 2008 and didn't know anyone, then when I moved to Charlotte in 2021. Don’t worry—making connections is totally achievable! I did it both times, and I'm here to share some practical tips to help you break the ice and build lasting friendships.

Get Out and Explore Social Events

A great way to meet people is by attending local social events. Check out community calendars, social media groups, and platforms like Meetup. Whether it’s a game night, comedy show, or a casual meet&greet gathering, these events can be perfect for meeting like-minded folks. Make it a point to go to several events each month. And if you like an event, sign up to attend regularly - it’s all about frequent exposure to build familiarity and trust.

Engage in Activities You Love

Joining clubs or classes that align with your interests is another fantastic avenue to meet potential friends. Are you into sports? Think about trying out for a local league or joining a running group. If you love painting, why not enroll in an art class? Doing things you enjoy with others is a natural way to connect and share experiences, making it easier to form bonds. Plus, shared interests often serve as fantastic conversation starters!

For me, what helped me meet new friends was joining language conversation groups: I speak French and Spanish, so I joined groups that met regularly to practice talking in those languages. Soon I had a nice group of language-loving friends to do things with.

Join a Hiking Club or Adventure Group

If you love the outdoors, consider joining a hiking club or an outdoor adventure group. These organizations often organize regular hikes and outings, providing ample opportunity to meet fellow enthusiasts while enjoying nature. With fresh air and breathtaking views, it’s hard not to strike up a conversation! Plus, having shared adventures can create great memories and deepen friendships over time.

Building on New Friendships

So, you've met someone nice—what’s next? Once you've connected, try to facilitate repeated exposure. Send them a friendly message and suggest hanging out again. Maybe invite them for coffee or to join you on an outing. Remember, consistency is key. The more you see each other, the stronger your bond will grow!

Also, don’t hesitate to be open and genuine. Everyone appreciates honesty and vulnerability. Share your experiences, and ask about theirs—you might discover shared backgrounds or mutual interests that lead to deeper connections. Tell them that you're looking to build quality friendships and see if they're in the same mind space. Lastly, be a good listener; it shows you care!

Final Thoughts

Making friends in a new city takes time and effort, but the rewards are totally worth it. With regular participation in events, activities you love, and a willingness to connect, you’ll soon find a circle of friends to enjoy your new city with. Remember, the key lies in repeated exposure; keep putting yourself out there, and you’ll be amazed at the friendships that blossom!

If you're in the Charlotte area, you can always check out Filled Cups' friend matching-events!